Archive for August 17th, 2008

Pardonez-moi mom and dad for the following:

There is no doubt that there is a link between yoga and sex.  Do yoga and you get a hot bod, you’re bendy-flexy, you understand your body… all good things.  And practicing can be quite sultry- a hot, dark room with pretty strangers, great music, yoga ass (for anyone who watches Weeds).  Some- ahem, not I, but another one of the writers for this site (to remain un-named), even met her significant other in class.  And how many times ladies, when you mention you do yoga to a guy, do they respond, “Cooool.  Does that like mean you can put your leg behind your head?”  Why, yes jerk, I can, and the entire reason I started practicing is so that on the day I met you, I could put my legs behind my head.

I remember when I first made this connection.  A little after I had first started practicing (I must have been 14 or 15), I was in class with a friend, who was a year older and ions beyond me in maturity.  I’ve wrote about Johnny Kest before, the super cute yoga teacher from Michigan, with the millions of admirers.  After his class, my friend and I were talking, and she said to me, you know, the only reason all these women come to class is so that someone will touch them.  They are totally sexually frustrated with their pudgy suburban husbands, so they come to class to get straddled by Johnny.  This, at 14 years old or whatever, had not ever crossed my mind.  But she was and is quite right…  Dude…cute male yoga teachers…they clean up.

Some people swear by tantric yoga- Sting has been a huge proponent.  For those unfamiliar with the idea, the point of tantric sex is that you (the man from what I’ve heard, but I guess it would work for females as well), withhold from uh- finishing, in order to store energy.  So like Sting has sex for hours and hours on end (poor Trudie).  Personally, does not appeal to me.

So the reason why I am writing about this today is that I just finished a class where the woman in front of me moaned throughout the ENTIRE class…like every down dog, every deep exhale, was an, “Aaaahhhhh, mmmmmm.”  Way sexual.  Way loud.  And I thought to myself, ya, yoga feels good, but like not orgasm moaning good.  And I questioned myself, am I doing yoga wrong that I am not deriving such pleasure?  I, who has the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy, was of course in hysterics for the majority of class.  So my conclusion is this.  Yes- yoga can be a good substitute for sex when you are choosing or being forced into celibacy.  But no matter how good the class, how good the teacher, how good the stretch- it’s not as good as sex.


Read Full Post »